Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence, often referred to as intimate partner violence or battering, is a pattern of behavior used to establish power and control over another person through fear and intimidation, often including the threat or use of violence. It encompasses a number of controlling behaviors that often include but are not limited to: emotional abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, and economic abuse. Although the vast majority of abusive relationships involve some form of violence, it is often the emotional abuse that has the most devastating impact on a victim. Although women are more likely to be victims of domestic violence, anyone can be a victim of domestic violence including those in the GLBT communities, men, disabled persons, seniors, and elders.
Facts and Statistics
Warning Signs
The following list identifies a series of behaviors typically demonstrated by batterers. All of these forms of abuse – psychological, physical, economic, and sexual – occur because batterers want to maintain power and control. This list can help you recognize if you or someone you know is in an abusive relationship.
Are you with someone who...
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Puts you down?
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Does not allow you to make any decisions?
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Scares you or loses their temper quickly?
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Hits, pushes, chokes, restrains or physically harms you in any way?
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Pressures you for sex or forces you to have sex?
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Makes you feel like everything is your fault?
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Is jealous and possessive, won’t let you have friends, checks up on you, or won’t accept breaking up?
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Threatens to expose your sexual orientation without your consent?
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Threatens to deport you or your children?
If you answer yes to any of these questions, you may be in an abusive relationship and should get help immediately.
Obstacles to Leaving an Abusive Relationship
Often people ask "Why does the person being victimized stay?" Listed below are some obstacles to leaving an abusive relationship.
Fear: Many people who are victimized fear that their partners will harm them if they attempt to leave. Victims also fear not knowing what kind of future lies ahead, and some fear being alone.
Threats: Most people who are victimized are threatened by their abusive partner and fear that leaving will increase the risk of violence.
Financial Constraints: Many people who are victimized, especially those with children, are financially dependent on their partners, sometimes because their partners have not allowed them to work.
Lack of Support: Not all people who are victimized have family and friends who support their decision to leave. Some victims are so isolated by their abusive partners that they have no support system whatsoever.
Lack of Knowledge about Rights and Options: Not all people who are victimized are aware that there are community agencies that can help them get to safety and rebuild their lives.
Family Pressure: People who are victimized are often blamed by their family for the violence occurring, and are sometimes told to make the relationship work rather than separate from their partners.
Societal Pressure: Traditional notions of men and women’s roles, combined with the stigma of divorce and separation, can make the decision to leave that much harder for people in abusive relationships.
Children: Many people who are victimized don’t leave their batterers because they want their children to have a relationship with the other parent. Other people worry that they wont be able to provide for their children if they leave.
Love: Many people who are victimized feel an emotional attachment to their batterers and cling to the hope that things will get better. They may also feel like they have failed to keep the family together.
