Lisa Bonchek Adams
There are some days when there is clearly only one appropriate subject for this blog. Today, sadly, it is the death on March 6th of beloved blogger, Lisa Bonchek Adams. She died at 45, the mother of three young children, a woman who engaged and taught the world about the realities of living with metastatic breast cancer. She never flinched from the truth, but she also never (at least in public; I suspect and hope that she had some private moments) felt sorry for herself. Very sorry for her family, yes, but no self pity. This was her most famous line: “Find a bit of beauty in the world today. Share it. If you can’t find it, create it. Some days this may be hard to do. Persevere.”
And this her posting some time ago, titled When I Die
When I die don’t think you’ve lost me.
I’ll be right there with you, living on in the memories we have made.
When I die don’t say I “fought a battle.” Or “lost a battle.” Or “succumbed.”
Don’t make it sound like I didn’t try hard enough, or have the right attitude, or that I simply gave up.
When I die don’t say I “passed.”
That sounds like I walked by you in the corridor at school.
When I die tell the world what happened.
Plain and simple.
No euphemisms, no flowery language, no metaphors.
Instead, remember me and let my words live on.
Tell stories of something good I did.
Give my children a kind word. Let them know what they meant to me. That I would have stayed forever if I could.
Don’t try to comfort my children by telling them I’m an angel watching over them from heaven or that I’m in a better place:
There is no better place to me than being here with them.
They have learned about grief and they will learn more.
That is part of it all.
When I die someday just tell the truth:
I lived, I died.
If you Google her name, there are many tributes. The greatest one, however, is to find a bit of beauty today. And tomorrow.