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Stick on Nipples and Tattoos

Posted 4/19/2014

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  Hoping that the title made you smile. I am writing from our Maine Cottage where the internet is working as well (read: very poorly) as ever, but I am so very happy to be here. We drove up yesterday and maintained the family tradition that plays out whenever we come. Upon crossing the the bridge from Trenton to the island (MDI), we roll down the car windows, take deep breaths  of the sea and pine-scented air, and yell "Hurray!". Even the dog perks up and wags her tail. We have spent the day stocking up on groceries and meeting with the wonderful caretaker and making a few minor repairs and eating fried clams. And now I am sufficiently replenished and relaxed to take on this painful internet connection.

  Thanks to Barbara who keeps me supplied with all of Joyce Wadler's columns (as well as many other more serious things). This is a delightful essay from Ms. Wadler about stick on nipples. Before I share that link, I want to also put in a plug for stick on or temporary tattoos. The tattoos don't really stick on; you place them wherever you want them (a in over a mastectomy scar), et them thoroughly with a wash cloth, then peel off the paper and voila: a string of roses or peace signs or whatever you have chosen. They last through daily wear and showers for about a week, but can be washed off at will. If this tweaks your interest, you can find them by Googling "temporary tattoos" and order a whole bunch, very cheaply. 

  If, like Ms. Wadler, you are more in the market for stick on nipples, I refer you to this marvelous essay. Even if you are not likely to shop for this particular item, I still recommend that you read it. It is delightful.

Love and the Stick-on Nipple

Joyce Wadler

I am not big on accessories: I wear the same ring, watch, bracelet and earrings day after day. Still, there
is one special item I was thrilled to find and really thought I would wear daily: my fabulous, lifelike,
press-on nipples. They were not something I had ever planned on needing, but then I never planned on
having breast cancer and a double reconstruction, or as it is known these days, the Angelina Jolie
Do you know how annoying it is to have this profound, life-changing, or at least lingerie-changing,
surgery and have it supplanted by a movie star? I blame the celebrity culture and TMZ. Last year, I had
a minor medical procedure, and after I woke up, the anesthesiologist said he had knocked me out with
“the Michael Jackson drug.” I was glad he hadn’t told me before. At least Angelina appears to have had
a good result.


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